Some Theory behind Communicating with CLASS

Do you really think people get up in the morning deciding to say awful things to each other?

OK, OK, how about you, do YOU get up in the morning deciding to say awful things to others? I am sure you would give a resounding NOT!

And, we all end up at times doing exactly what we don’t want to do.

So how can you class up your communication?

Here are a few simple gifts I learned to give; they have consistently given me the upper edge in communicating with others. (more information, click here)

Let the Compliments spill out

In watching others, I learned that people don’t compliment each other very often. It is such an honor to tell others about the little things you see in them that mean something to you. I’m not talking false flattery; it’s truly seeing the great things about others…

The other day I met a woman who had a way of immediately putting others at ease, she was just warm, accepting and interested. I was so touched by her way of making others feel accepted that I couldn’t help myself, I told her about it. She stopped right where she was and just looked at me with disbelief. She said “Really?” I said “yes, REALLY.” That was it, just one comment, it immediately warmed her and she smiled thoughtfully. I met her a week later and the second I saw her she made me feel so accepted again so my compliment spilled over, again. She told me that no one had ever said that to her and it meant so much – she had reflected on it all week.

KEY: Flowers don’t last that long. A sincere compliment is the least expensive and most valued gift that we can give in a moment of time.

Have fun

If I am not having fun, communication begins to be a chore. Who wants to do chores?

Even when the talk is tense, the outcome can always be brighter when you get through the tense stuff and then lighten things up. Now, I am NOT talking about replacing the tense talk with humor, because avoiding tension that needs to be dealt with does not help. Your lightness afterward will help others know they are forgiven, loved and accepted. We all need to know that.

When having serious conversations, (like work, politics, religion, relationship stuff) if you like the subject, then by all means, it is fun. Even debating is fun for some; so maybe, just maybe, when people are baiting you, they are having fun…

Let Kindness rule

I think that if I had to pick my personal favorite for keeping me out of the soup, I would say this is it. When I really want the other people I am talking with to honor me, I honor them big time – first. When facilitating a group, I take on their fear and anxiety as my responsibility to dissipate. When I practice sincere sincerity and genuine curiosity, it comes back to me in tidal waves of relief, thankfulness and caring. What a great way to feel the love. Do this with people who are grumpy, timid, brassy, fearful, and angry. When coming from a true and sincere place, it works miracles.

Challenge: work just one of these suggestions on unsuspecting co-workers, friends or even family. I’d love to hear the results.